Emma (not her real name) is 8 years old and her parents have spent exactly half of Emma’s life fighting in the Circuit Court about matters in relation to custody and access. We act for a very impressive and committed father, who is not married to the mother, and we argued that every obstacle possible has been put in his path to upset the relationship he has been trying to maintain with his young daughter.
We had, what we hope is, our final hearing in the Circuit Court and I was enormously impressed by the judge who heard the case. She listened to what the legal representatives had to say but she also involved the parents and it became very clear very quickly that she had little or no sympathy for the views of the mother and the reasons why access did not happen in the past. This was a case where two psychologists had prepared expert reports recommending that my client be granted joint custody of his daughter and setting out very detailed provisions for weekly access, particularly in relation to special occasions such as Christmas, Summer, half term and so on.
One of the very unsatisfactory aspects of this case is the fact that the mother will have no contact whatsoever with the father. She will not answer telephone calls, she will not reply to letters or emails and will not even reply to text messages.
The judge was very directive and very strong in saying to both parties “I completely accept that you love your daughter – what I am saying is that you do not love her enough”. She said that if the child is being involved in the dispute or is suffering as result of the dispute between mother and father then this is something that can be remedied. The second thing she said that really stuck a chord with me was “do you know what would be a nice thing to do – when you are with Emma, say something nice about her mother/father”. This comment drew shakes of the head from the mother and a very strong reprimand from the judge.
All I would say in conclusion is that the legal system is often rightly criticised as being the wrong forum within which to try and resolve family disputes. This is a really good example of that. But when it came to this final hearing, I left court feeling elated, not just because we had secured a terrific outcome for our client, but because of the manner in which the case was dealt with by the judge. In my view the decisions made by the judge were fair and just and leave no room for appeal.
However, logic plays little part when it comes to this level of animosity and bitterness and I am very sorry to say that my client will almost certainly see the inside of the Circuit Court once again in the fairly near future. I hope I am wrong.
Kevin Brophy